Ten Ways to Kill Christmas Joy.

Maybe it’s just me…

But this is how I feel at Christmas…

  • I hate the shopping.
  • I hate the crowds.
  • I hate the Fa-la-las, and the la-te-dahs.
  • Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!
  • I NEVER dream about a WHITE CHRISTMAS.
  • Chestnuts roasting on an open fire – Are you kidding me?
  • Frosty the Snowman? Yeah, you’re fat, get over it – it’s hot in the sun, so stay clear of direct sunlight – and two eyes made out of coal – give me a break.
  • Santa Claus is Coming to Town would also be a stupid song, but Springsteen sang the crap out of that song so it gets a free pass.
  • When did parenting skills start becoming ranked by how large and how expensive a Christmas a parent could give their Kid? Am I a BAD parent because I am not willing to risk life and limb to buy my kid the latest, greatest, hottest toy?
  • I knew we were in for it when I saw Reindeer Table linens in Target in AUGUST.
  • I hate  SNOW. For the love of all that is pure and holy…please don’t let it snow.
  • I feel like I just put the decorations in storage why do I have to get them out again?
  • What’s the point of all of these decorations?
  • I would love to have made fun of Rudolph and I would have called him names for sure.
  • Jack Frost can nip my…Ahhh sorry… insert your own word there.
  • Are Christmas Carols really necessary? And why do they start playing them in OCTOBER?
  • I’ll never understand why we have to have a “real” tree.
  • When I watch “The Grinch” I see way too much of myself in him.
  • If Christmas is about giving…how come the day after Christmas is the day for taking back?
  • Life is never better than when I take the tree and decorations down.

Do any of these gloomy Christmas thoughts sound familiar? It’s likely they do. In my opinion, the occasional case of the Christmas blues is perfectly normal, but what I have is something  different.  Something a little more sinister.  I have a serious case of Christmasmonomialdisplexiatoltolticism (Christ’-mas-mon-o-mial-a dis-plex-ial-tol- tolt-i- cism).

I know…

…it’s serious.

There is no known cure.  It is definitely terminal.  But all hope is not lost.  I have tried to soften the affects of this terrible disease. I think I have come up with some ideas to help.  These suggestions won’t eliminate your problems, but they can help you break a negative thought pattern and stop feeling like you want to throw all things Christmas out in the front yard on that blessed morning.

1. Embrace the Christmas Emotional Cycle – Christmas Time is an emotional roller coaster.  A few of the days you feel like nothing can stop you.  Most days you feel utterly hopeless. Some of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding the pattern of positive and negative Christmas emotions will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel a “good” Christmas feeling…hang on…the comforting distain for all things Christmas will come back soon.  So just hold on to those negative feelings as long as you can.  It will make those difficult “good” times pass quickly. The good feelings about Christmas is just a natural emotion that will inevitably pass.  Knowing that a feeling of Christmas Joy is only temporary, makes it less dreadful.

2. Spend time with Negative Christmas People – Nothing affects the way you think and feel more than the people you interact with.  Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious.  If you are surrounded by positive Christmas people, it’s only natural that you’ll start to think and feel the same way.  To improve your outlook on life, spend time with negative Christmas people.  Chances are their unhappiness will rub off.  Search them out, embrace them  and try to understand the way of error of those positive Christmas people.

3. Reflect on past Negative Christmas Success – In the wake of a colossal failure, it’s easy to forget everything you’ve ever done right.  We all have  had our times of weaknesses in experiencing  Christmas joy.  That can be fixed by taking a few minutes to remember your past accomplishments in spreading Christmas negativity.  This will build yourself up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in spreading Christmas Negativity in the future.

4. Focus on Christmas Loathing – It’s human nature to measure ourselves against those ahead of us on the social ladder.  Studies have shown that people care more about being richer (getting) than giving Christmas Joy.  That being said…It is indeed better to receive than to give.  So when you consider everything good in your life and compare it to the problems of less fortunate people, the issue of Christmas Joy that is making you happy won’t seem as serious…Again… it will pass and you will be back your old self in a few minutes.

5. Change Christmas Scenery – One of the best ways to change the way you feel is to change your Christmas environment. When you get in a slump, you start to associate your problems with everything around you.  It can get to the point where your Christmas environment is a constant reminder of your problems (Christmas Joy).  This can be a dangerous cycle.  The solution is to change things.  Change doesn’t have to be radical.  Here are some suggestions: Remove some  lights off the tree.  Take some of the ornaments down and take few of the Candles and box them up before Christmas Day.   Remove all evidence of Santa and his nasty little reindeer.  Removing unpleasant  Christmas decorations can completely change the mood of a room and brighten your day.

6. Break your Christmas Routine – Going through the same Christmas routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing.  It often leads to getting caught in a rut.  To get out of it you need to temporarily change your Christmas routine. If you can, celebrate Christmas day on December 1st.  That way you will not let the Christmas carols or the  Christmas joy spread too far into your personal life.  I say, get it over as soon as you can after Thanksgiving. That way you will not have time to build up the Christmas spirit.  In the long run, taking a day to celebrate Christmas early will make you happier and more productive.

7. Interact with Animals and Nature – It’s funny when you consider how humans put so much importance on Christmas.  Animals don’t think this way. A little bird doesn’t mope around and want to take all his presents back the day after Christmas.  Animals live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Regardless if they received what they wanted or not.  Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems of Christmas Joy.

8. Get Moving – As Johnny Cash famously suggested, “Get a rhythm, when you get the blues.” Moving to a beat makes everyone feel better. The same is true for Christmas in general.  Taking down Christmas decorations will help you shed the lethargy that comes with feeling depressed.  The more enthusiastic you approach your negative Christmas moments, the better you will start to feel.

9. Think about the Big Christmas Picture – As Carl Sagan made evident with the Pale Blue Dot, we’re insignificant creatures living in a vast universe on a tiny planet.  In the long run, everything we do will probably be forgotten.  Some might find this depressing, but it shouldn’t be.  It means that all our problems are illusory. In a million years no one will remember what you did or didn’t do. What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second of life that we’re blessed with…even if that means tolerating a brief moment of Christmas Joy.

10. Do Something to Help Yourself – Above all, the best way to stop feeling Christmas Joy is to take action. What is your biggest problem? How can you alleviate it? Once you decide to stop moping about Christmas and start moving forward you won’t have time to feel depressed.  Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to.  Plan now for your Christmas perspective.  Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep you packing up a little Christmas Cheer everyday.  Before you know it…Christmas will be here and gone and you can get back to complaining without using Christmas as an excuse for your bad attitude.

But then again…   maybe it’s just me.

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