These last few weeks have been really tough for me. I have had a very stressful two weeks. I would like to blame my work for the stress and the lack of motivation to write. I would like to do that, but I can’t. My struggle started with a notice I received about someone copying my blog writings and claiming them for their own. I thought that it really didn’t bother me but I was wrong. For the record, I am not upset that someone is copying my blog, but rather I am frustrated with the fact that my words do not mean more to me than they should. It has caused me to really evaluate what I say.
Do I really believe in what I am writing? Are the things I write more than just words?
I do not want to write because it is something that I am obligated to do. I do not want to be like the burnt out teacher that has taught a Sunday School class for the last 20 years and keeps doing it because they would feel guilty if they stopped teaching to recharge their mind and heart. Our churches all over America are filled with such people. I no longer want to fall into that trap.
It has grown into a case of writer’s block. I am just struggling to write something that will honestly reflect my heart. I start to write and soon I delete any thing that I put down on paper. In the past, I had always been so motivated and had such clarity of what I wanted to write each and everyday.
I’ve always said that I did not write to get readers but I have to say that for the past few months I have been paying too much attention to the number of visitors to my blog. I have been amazed at the number of people who have clicked on my blog. I am thankful for those of you that take time to read my thoughts. But now I wonder if I started to censor myself. Did I really write the words I really wanted to, or did I chose to write what others wanted to hear?
I’ve noticed over the past few years that people will become so accustomed to reading the words you write and they lose their effectiveness. When we repeatedly see or hear things they become ingrained in us, if we’re not careful they become a part of us. It is like listening to your pastor every week. At first you hang on every word that comes out of his mouth. You make a point to apply everything to your own life. After a few weeks you start to drift a little bit and you start to apply the sermon to another person in the congregation. You say to yourself, “I’m glad that Greg is here today, because he REALLY needs to hear this.” A few weeks later, your mind drifts to what you are having for lunch and what the coming week will bring. Another few weeks and all you want to do is get home and you stop listening all together. This is so common and make no mistake it is so dangerous because we become desensitized to the right things and we have no idea how far away from the truth and away from God we have traveled.
I also see so many people who use church “lingo” so much that the words lose their meaning.
As Christians we use several different words to express how we feel about God. Words like, “Surrender, Lord, Savior, King, Master, Ruler, Provider, Healer” and many more. We also say things like “Lord, I give you my life” and “God, use me” but do we really mean what we are saying? Do we really understand the meaning behind our words or are they just that, “WORDS” ?
So I ask the question, “What is the point in being a Christian if we are not going to fully embrace what it means?” Saying “Jesus is Lord” means nothing if you don’t understand the power that comes along with it. Confessing “Jesus as Lord of your life” (Romans 10:9-10) means there has to be a change in your attitude, your lifestyle and the way you see yourself and the world. You no longer can do “anything” you want to do.
If your life is the same as it was then I suggest that they are just “WORDS.”
I want to be careful and mindful about what I say. I do not want my writings to be just WORDS. I want my blog to reflect what is going on in my life and be a true reflection of what my relationship with Christ really is. I want it to show what “Jesus is Lord” means to me. I do not want to be guilty of writing words without meaning, more importantly I do not want to write because it sounds good. I want to write because they are “MORE THAN WORDS” to me. It is a reflection of Jesus living in me.
So I will continue to write. My prayer is that some of my words may truly point you to Jesus Christ. My relationship with God is something that drives every area of my life. The words that I use such as God, Jesus, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Grace, Prayer, Love and Salvation are MORE THAN JUST WORDS to me, they are a WAY OF LIFE.
The question is…what do they mean to you?