Some Time to Reflect

Today was the day I was to start to writing again.  

I have taken some time off to reflect and try to figure out what the next stage of this blog will be.   After taking a few weeks off, I must admit I am no closer to knowing where I am headed with it.  To be honest I have not had any inspiration to write since the death of a friend that I had known for over 40 years.   My blog was linked to his and his to mine.  We spent time over the last year or so commenting on different aspects of each others blog.  I will not only miss him…I will miss his insight.  While I still cannot process his death and I really need to move on and figure out what the future holds for my writing.

Over the course of the last three years, there have been times when writing has been a real joy.  As of this writing,  I have had 297,998 visitors to my blog.  It is amazing to me that the number of visitors could possibly be that high.  I have two sources that count my visitors and they both are within a few hits of each other.  I have had people who have complimented me and some have told me how much they appreciated my writings.   I have also had some criticisms  along the way.  I try to focus on the positive without letting it distract me.   I am very thankful for those who play along and let me express my thoughts.

I started writing this blog in September of 2008. My original intent was to write some thoughts and stories down and store them someplace where my children and grandchildren could read them one day.   I never really intended to have anyone else except them ever read them.   I just started to write and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew I had over 100, 000 visitors to my blog.  I then said that I would continue to write until I had 200,000.  I reached that goal and really did not set another goal.  I only told myself that I would keep writing until I lost the motivation and/or came up with another outlet for me to express what I need to share.  I feel in some way that I am coming up to a cross-road and I really need some insight into which path to go. 

I am asking for some input from those of you who read this post.  I will not post your comments and I will respond directly to each and every comment.  As a reminder, I do not write to get comments…I write to challenge, encourage and hopefully point someone to live for Christ and selfishly, I write to leave a record of my thoughts and perspectives for my children and grandchildren to read one day.

As I always say, I love to write… I never said I write well.   I have over 85 rough draft posts sitting in my file.  Waiting for me to review and try to fix or make it better in order to be published on my blog.  Most will not ever be good enough.  Sometimes I worry about being too interested in the writing aspect as opposed to the content and if what I write really helps people when they read it.   God recently reminded me of the sermon I had heard about Mary and Martha.  Martha was frantically scrambling to get everything just right for the Savior and Mary was sitting silently at the feet of Jesus.   Martha had good intentions, but Mary did the better thing.

I worry about getting so caught up in writing that at times I wonder if I set enough time aside for God.   I desire to be more for Christ than I have been.  I desire to be a better husband, father and grandfather to my family.  I desire to be a better friend than I have been.  If I am going to accomplish any of these things before I die I need to take the time sit at His feet and be silent.

Lately, when I try to be silent and still, my brain doesn’t want to cooperate.  I will conjure up  whole conversations in my head, hear snippets  of songs, and think of things I forgot to do or that I still need to do.  I just feel distracted because I have no idea where I am headed and what I can do for the Lord for the rest of my life.

There was a time in my life when I was in the ministry.  I loved teaching from God’s Word and I loved what I did.   But I have been on the shelf for a long time.  I have wandered in the desert like Moses for years and I am starting to think that I will never find my niche again.  I long to be used of God once again.

So as I sit and reflect on the future of my blog and my writings, I am asking the Lord for direction.  I am closing in on 300,000 visitors and when I reach that milestone I am seriously thinking of stopping my writing and take some time to sit at the feet of the Lord and see what He would like for me to do with the rest of my life.   Your prayers would be appreciated.

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2 thoughts on “Some Time to Reflect

  1. david, just spend time in the word. GOD will give you direction. i would not stop writing. it does not matter how many people look at your stuff. it is all about exalting our CHRIST. write what you get out of GOD’s word. like II Chronicles 20:1-30 is my favorite passage and it has encouraged me to go hard after GOD. you can “preach” the word through the blog and give personal application. for example, how are you “preaching to yourself” and the loss of steven. are you saying to yourself…”i give thanks for monday, the day steven took his life”. I thess. 5:18 says to give thanks ALWAYS. there are not exceptions…you don’t have to give thanks if your husband of 27 years takes his life…you are exempt. no, GOD’s word says always . there is hope in GOD’s word and people are hungry for the truth and hope. call your audience to exalt CHRIST, to go hard after him. i have found that most Christians are not in the word and have never come across II chron. or other passages that tell us…”do not be afraid or discouraged…for the battle is not yours, but GOD’s”. my faviorite verse is psalm 115:3….”our GOD is in heaven, he does whatever pleases him. david, he is/was pleased to take steven to himself and the way he did it. it was GOD’s plan and we can trust him!! if people are reading, don’t quit, but quit counting…teach them after GOD has taught you through the word.

    i have been praying since 2005 for revival and this past year i have begged for it and realized that GOD was going to have to do something big that effected us profoundly. steven’s death and the way he did it was GOD’s sovereign plan and it has effected people all over this globe. as i have prayed through II chron., i have begged GOD for the plunder from the battle to be salvation, addictions slayed, bondage broken, Christians that are lazy to become radical Christ-followers tethering themselves to himself, the HOLY SPIRIT to wash over us with brokeness, surrender and holiness. if you go read that chapter you will see that it took the isrealites 3 days to collect the plunder and that was with 1,161,000 fighting men (chapter 17). that is huge and i want this to be revival that lasts our lifetime and our grand children’s lifetime. don’t bother with a week or two. that is worthless.

    david,
    get in the word and soak,
    speak/preach the truth to yourself
    share the truth through your blog.
    get off the “shelf” and go hard after GOD (God says if you draw near to him, he will draw near to you)
    EXALT CHRIST always
    preach truth
    leave a godly legacy to all those you encounter

    pray for brokenness, surrender and holiness

    i will put you in my prayer journal….please know that i will be praying for you….
    In Christ Alone,
    rhonda

  2. First thing first…Thank you for writing this blog! I’m sorry to say that I had not visited it before Rhonda posted the link to your tribute to Steve on Facebook, & I had not been back until she posted this entry today. (Life tends to get in the way of the things I would like to read). I almost left a comment on your tribute to Steve, but for whatever reason I decided not to at the time. I am thankful that you wrote what you did; it has allowed me to know Steve a little better. I have known him only since he came to Bigelow (I am a member there), & I wish I had been able to know him longer than the 2 1/2 years that I did. Your tribute only served to reinforce that notion. As far as your above post goes, I would like to offer 1 or 2 (maybe more) comments. Take them as you will; I pray that in some way they may be helpful.

    You mentioned that you are still unable to process Steve’s death & that you need to move on. I don’t think that any of us who have been affected by his death will ever be able to fully process it. For myself, I have been trying not to question it too much because I find that I tend toward questioning what I could have done differently to prevent it. I think it is unwise for me to question in this manner because it denies God’s sovereignty. I’m not sure, though, how wise it would be to just “move on” either. I think it maybe better to reflect on how I could have loved him better, not because it would have changed the outcome but so that I may become more like Christ. And I think moving forward, it helps to look at how Steve’s death is affecting others positively for the Kingdom. God has been gracious enough to give us a small glimpse of how He is using Steve’s death to open up opportunities for the Gospel. We have already seen people sharing Christ who previously would have had great difficulty doing so, & we have seen others who were not previously open to hearing Truth be willing to listen & ask questions in search of the Truth. All that said, it does not necessarily make things easier to bear, but at the end of the day, I rest in these things: God is sovereign (Psalm 115:3); I can rejoice in peace in ALL things (Philippians 4:4-7); and I have a hope that is not of this world but is eternal (1 Peter 1:3-5).

    In regards to your blog, I personally hope that you do not quit writing, & I hope that you do not use an arbitrary number of visits to make your decision for you on whether or not to keep writing. If God is leading you away from this blog, then by all means follow Him! Do take some time to be still & listen to Him. And don’t feel guilty about doing so. Delve into His Word, pray, & seek the counsel of wise men before you decide whether to leave this venue behind. Understand that you are not alone in your brain not wanting to cooperate; I have the same problem. And you are also not alone in wondering what path the Lord is leading you down; I struggle with the same thing. But please don’t think that God is not using you; He always is! I think it’s safe to say from what I have read of your blog, He is using you right here. He may eventually lead you in another direction, but just because you may not feel like he is using you through this medium, rest assured that somehow & in someway He is.

    I sincerely hope that I have been able to encourage you some, & I will be praying for you.

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