Over the course of the past week, I have been engaged in the preparation for employee evaluations. And in that process, I have to fill out my own personal evaluation to turn into my boss. It is a self-evaluator tool where you have to write out where you think you are in relation to your job goals and performance. My boss then takes that information and we meet to see if we are on the same page as far as these goals are concerned.
As I made my way through the questions, one question caused me to pause and stare at the blinking cursor for quite a while. I started to second guess myself… Do I be honest and say what I should or do I say what I think they want me to say? What to do? If I’m true to my word, I gotta own it. It’s a hill I’m going to die on. So I had to go with the honesty.
I might be strange, but if you know me, you know I don’t care about titles. I never have. I’m not in this game to get as high as I can on some corporate ladder. As I told my boss, people won’t discuss that at my funeral. They WILL remember how I treated people, how I loved my family and my wife. Was I man that was true to his beliefs and to his faith? That is forever. Titles are not. They fade.
That being said, have you ever established the hills that you would die on? Do you know where the line is where you won’t cross?
That is why my family and my wife is a hill I will die on… EVERY… SINGLE… TIME. I will always choose my family and my wife over my job each and everyday. That being said, I am thankful that up to this point in my life, my employer has not made me choose.
My professional goals at this point in life have changed over the past few years. My professional goal at work is to ensure that my wife is taken care of. It is my sole purpose as far as my job goes. This may sound like an odd professional goal, but I believe I am a failure at any professional position if I am failing as a husband and my responsibility to make sure she is taken care of.
My children are adults now. They are 28, 27, 22 and 20 respectively and they are all moving on in their own lives. They have to own their own destinations in life and to how they get there. While I understand that I will always be “Dad” but my job to raise them is over. All I can do now is give advice… I cannot make them do anything. I also have two grandsons, Indy and Brody. The job to raise them is also not mine… it is that of my daughter and my son-in-law. I get to enjoy the benefits of just being “Grandpa”.
Family is a non-negotiable in my core beliefs. So to work a job and a position that fits my professional goal is something I am very thankful for. The job to raise my children is over. My job is now focused on my wife. I accepted that responsibility to take care of her when I said,”I do” and it is now primary for me until I take my last breath.
Filling out that evaluation for my boss, I was reminded that sometimes, when you know your non-negotiables in life, you won’t always have to die on that hill.
But sometimes you will, and it will always be worth the fight.